Kiss your husband or significant other every time one of you leaves the house and tell them you love them. Even if you are angry at the time.
Yesterday my husband and I celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary. At the time of our wedding (on April Fool’s Day, no less) we had been together for almost 7 years, living together for 6 years and even bought a house.
We started dating when I was 21 and Brad was 24. So I am sure that it’s no surprise that we have gone through a lot as we grew up together. Super huge highs, super dark lows, and navigating all of the life changes that come with it.
And as an elder (ha ha) I can say that I have learned some very important relationship lessons along the way. And this one, by far, is one of the most important.
No matter what, say the words. Yes. No matter what.
I get it, it’s hard to tell someone you love them when you’re so pissed off at them. It’s hard to offer a cheek to be kissed when you’d rather turn your head away. But sometimes you just gotta suck it up. We all know how important those three little words are. We’re smart. Yes, you can love the person, hate the behavior but telling someone you love them when you leave doesn’t mean you accept what they’ve done. It just means that you love them. Stupid-heads that they are.
**Side note** Please don’t think that I’m excusing poor behavior, abusive behavior or behavior that is dangerous to you or your family. I’m talking run of the mill arguments or disagreements.
And listen, there are times that I’ve left the house fuming and slammed the door behind me. And there are times we argue and neither one of us is feeling gracious. But we each make a point of calling (and often just leaving a message because someone is not feeling up to chat) or sending a text. “I love you, let’s talk later”. Usually that’s Brad. Mine is along the lines of “You can be such an ass but I love you”.
And it’s the same with the kids. At every end of a visit, every time one of us drives away, in our texts, phone calls and when my son leaves for school at 7:15am. We say it to them, they say it back. Or vice versa. We Honsbergers are all about the ‘L’ word.
I mean, they’re just three little words but besides “Now go run!” they are the best three words you can say.
Now go run!